Chapter Text
Donnie whacked the Footsoldier, feeling a bit excited. “Wow, for the first time I’m on the same number of beat downs as Raph!” How awesome was that!? For once he was letting his thoughts about April stray to the side for the moment. Deciphering Kraang files was stressful and this was the perfect outlet.
“I don’t know if that says more about you or less about these guys.” Raph commented as he punched a ninja away. “Seriously, it's like they get weaker with every beatdown.”
“Didn’t Bradford use his dojo’s as a way of getting more recruits?” Spidey asked, webbing two heads together three stooges style. “I think he’s lowered the standard of who gets promoted to lackey.”
“Makes sense.” Leo nodded. “If crooks get embarrassed being beat up by giant turtles and a man in spandex, imagine how it is trying to get other people to fight them.”
“I think it’s just our cool ninja style.” Mikey said as he beat a few people up. “We beat them up, we level up, they're easier to beat up.”
“It’s not like a game Mikey.” Leo chided.
“Hey, free coin.” Donnie picked up one off the ground. “Oooh, it’s a full dollar cent too, lucky day. Saving that for Pizza later.”
“...Okay, so fighting the Foot has gotten about as easy as slicing up Kraang bots.” Leo restracted a little. “We still have to be on high alert though.”
“Leo, be real.” Raph said. “Unless it’s a mutant, the Shredder, or some bozo with really good gear, we don’t have to worry about anyone else in New York.” He replied as he punched away a goon without looking.
“Hey now, they could surprise you.” Spidey said. “Remember how many people shout ‘revenge’ at us before they go completely ballistic with superpowers?”
“And they’re all locked up at Rykers or the looney bin.” Donnie agreed. “Honestly with how easy it’s been to handle the grunts, it’s given us plenty more time to decipher the Kraang data. I’m pretty sure we’re halfway through their alphabet.”
“Still faster than Mikey learned our alphabet.” Raph chided.
“Hey, I can totally name all twenty five letters of the alphabet!” Mikey shouted.
“I don’t know if that reflects more on his grammar or his math.” Spidey snorted, tossing two into a nearby dumpster. “What are these guys doing anyways? You know, other than fighting us cause they don’t have any other hobbies.”
“If what Karai said was true …” Leo muttered. “They might be getting something from a hidden Kraang location.”
“Like what? They can’t do anything without Tockman on their side.” Donnie said. “Kraang tech is too advanced for them to understand.”
“Maybe we can ask that one over there.” Mikey pointed to the side of a ledge, showing off a more…thicker for lack of a better word, foot soldier doing what could be called sneaking inside a building, when in reality was failing at crouching and looking like he was constipated.
“Maybe Leo’s right, they must really be desperate for new members.” Raph deadpanned. “Although … this level of pathetic is familiar …”
“Pathetic or not, a crook’s a crook, and I wouldn’t be doing my friendly neighborhood duty if I didn’t intervene.” Spidey jumped down on the street, and sent a webline that forced the man into the alley. “Now now, I know you like the color black, but that’s no excuse for putting your hand in the cookie jar.”
“Wait, Spidey?” The guy asked with a familiar voice.
“Huh?” Donnie recognized that voice all too well. Jumping down with the rest of his brothers, he pulled off the mask…and was met with another masked face. “Pulveriser?!”
“Donnie! Guys! Great to see you!” The wannabe vigilante said excitedly, obviously having learned NOTHING from the last time they saw him!
“Great, not this loser again.” Raph rolled his eyes.
“Quick question.” Spidey raised his hand. “On introspection, how much was evil goo amplifying my rage, and how much was him being genuinely annoying?”
“I say… the rage was eighty percent justified.” Leo sighed in admission. “What are you doing, and with the Foot of all people!?”
“Well you guys said I shouldn’t be on the streets unless I got training, right?” Tim asked.
“I’m pretty sure it was more on the lines of you’re not responsible enough to be a hero.” Donnie recalled.
“So I decided to start training at a dojo!” He shouted, completely ignoring the valid criticism. “... The first nine kicked me out, calling me ‘unteachable’ and ‘undisciplined’.”
“Gee, I wonder why that is?” Raph rolled his eyes.
“Right?” They ignored the sarcasm. “So I went to Bradford’s, realizing if anyone could teach me, it would be the super awesome celebrity with all the action movies! I showed off my moves, and they took me into a secret ninja clan, just like you guys!”
“...Wow, they’re really desperate for guys.” Mikey muttered in second hand embarrassment.
“It’s only been nine days, and I’ve already graduated to the position of ashi gaudo sha!”
“That’s Japanese for Cannon Fodder.” Donnie said bluntly.
“That sounds even more awesome! What if that became my superhero name!?”
“...Cannon fodder means expendable.” Leo slapped his head. “You know, the useless guys they send in beforehand to waste enemy fire and set off traps.”
“Bah, they wouldn’t do that… although I do set off a lot of traps… and they have called me expendable about a couple hundred times, but that’s just friendly ribbing, like you guys do all the time!” How much could one guy be in denial!? The level of ignorance was staggering.
“Look, Pulverizer, I hate to break it to you, but you’re working with the bad guys.” Donnie said. “The Foot is our clan’s enemy.”
“No, that can’t be! We’re the good guys! We’ve been fighting and stealing from the Kraang, stopping them from doing more bad stuff!”
“They’re fighting the Kraang because they want to use their resources on us.” Spidey reiterated. “Question though is what they’re stealing if it’s not tech for Neckmon to reverse engineer.”
“Tech?” The dude blinked. “No, we’re stealing a gas canister.”
“Gas?” Donnie speculated.
“Yeah. Glass container, green goopy sound, kinda glowing.”
“Mutagen.” Leo grunted. “Shredder must be trying his hand at making more mutants.”
“Great, as if Tombstone making Mutates wasn’t enough. We’ll be dealing with another batch of super-villains coming out of the woodwork.” Spidey groaned. “We gotta stop them before they make that happen.”
“Oooh, I can help! I can spy on them and sabotage their plans!” Pulveriser cheered.
They all looked at each other, before looking back at the boy. “No.” He didn’t have the skill or subtlety for that.
“... Right.” He winked, like he was trying to imply he was going to do the opposite.
“Tim.” Donnie placed a hand on the boy’s shoulder. “Go home, and do NOT think that this is some sort of secret thing. You’re quitting the Foot Clan.”
“Right, I’ll ‘quit’ the ‘foot cl-aaaahhh!” Raph grabbed him by the arm and squeezed it. “...Loud and clear.”
“Finally.” Spidey huffed. “Look, you have good intentions, but that alone doesn’t make a hero.”
“I know, I know what you said last time. With Great ability comes great potential to kick butt.” Pulveriser rolled his eyes.
They could all see Spider-Man begin twitching. “That … was not …”
“Look, I get you thinking you’re super awesome and invincible because you have powers, and you really are, but I can be awesome too!” Tim pouted. “And one way or another, I’m going to be a hero, no matter what it takes!”
Spider-man twitched again. “...Excuse me for one second.” He walked down the alley….and punched a hole straight through the bricks, reducing it to dust. “If you don’t quit the next time we see you, I’m dragging you home and telling your mom.” The boy calmly stated.
“What, but I don’t…”
“We heard you over the phone last time dude.” Mikey pointed out. “Spidey mean’s business with secret identity stuff.”
“Trust us Pulverizer, we know what’s best.” Donnie said, before they all jumped back up.
“I can’t believe it, he really was just as annoying without the alien tinted glasses.” Peter grumbled. “And here I thought I was too harsh last time I saw him. But no, apparently I wasn’t harsh enough.”
“We just refilled the training dummies from when April was taking out her anger on them. Feel free to unleash your frustration on it.” Raph offered. “I can wait until tomorrow.”
“He even messed up the saying. The saying.” They growled as they all ran to sewers. This … was probably going to be a bad night.
========================================================================
Splinter watched as the third dummy was demolished with a single hit. “Responsibility, can’t he learn that!? And he’s with the Foot, the most dangerous group of people! Why won’t that moron learn anything!?”
“I haven’t seen him this frustrated since the symbiote.” April biter as they all watched from the living room.
“Meh, that kid has a habit of hitting buttons.” Rapheal said. “Especially Spidey’s … you know, from his memories and stuff.”
“Ahh.” He had merely gleaned from his sons what they had learned about the boy’s past. He wouldn’t pry too much given it was a personal issue. “Peter, perhaps it would be best for you to take a moment to breathe. Punching objects can only satiate your anger for so long.”
The boy took a couple of breaths. “Alright … I’m calm … I can do calm … just need to not think about that idiot putting himself in danger …”
“Spidey, if he does, and sadly he probably will, we’re going to be there to stop him.” Leonardo reassured. “The most he has to deal with is Foot goons; and they’re not the most difficult obstacles to face.” That sounded like overconfidence.
“Well said goons are gonna start being mutated when the Shredder gets his hands on enough Mutagen to create a super soldier army.” Peter laid out a frankly horrific possibility.
“Dude, chill with the freak outs. We got this. They ain’t gonna win, especially not when I lay my hot nunchuck fury on them!” Michealangelo cheered as he flipped over the couch.
“That’s of course after I whip all their butts with my sai’s of course.” Rapheal smirked. “I can’t promise they’ll be enough for you guys once I’m done.”
“Not to toot my own horn, but my bo staff is more than enough for the latest batch of foot soldiers.” Donnetello noted. “One whack to the head and ‘poof’ they’re out like a light.”
It seems it was time for another lesson. “To the dojo, all of you.” Splinter ordered, bringing everyone into the room in question. “It seems you have been filled with overconfidence from your growth.”
“I wouldn’t say overconfidence.” Leonardo muttered. “Against people like Fishface and DogPound we’re confident, but above that’s a different story.”
“Overconfidence leads to thinking that a simple man is as small as a mouse.” Splinter spoke. “You must be willing to learn and adapt in difficult situations.”
“A little overconfidence isn’t that bad.” Rapheal said.
“What about the Pulverizer?” Peter pointed out.
“That’s a whole other thing. The guy’s kind of delusional.” Michelangelo shrugged. “It’s like he doesn’t listen to anybody.” A feeling that Splinter felt almost twice a week instructing his sons. “As long as we got our skills and weapons, we’re fine.”
“Is that so?” Splinter glared. “Then for your next lesson, you must make the unfamiliar familiar … swap your weapons!”
“What?” His sons gasped at the same time.
“But we’ve only trained with the weapons you gave us…”
“And now you must adapt and learn to wield another.” Splinter said. “Though I have a simple cane, I am well versed in several. If you are to advance as ninja, you must do the same.”
His sons all looked at each other with apprehension. “So … who gets what?” Donatello asked.
“Oh, give me the swords!” Michelangelo shouted. “That way, I get to be the leader.”
“Having swords does not make you the leader!” Leonardo yelled.
“But you’re the leader.”
“Not because I have swords!”
“Oh…why are you our leader then?”
His children began arguing about the weapons making the roles as the two humans moved next to him. “Don’t you think it’s bad to tell them to get used to fighting without their weapon?” Peter raised a finger. “Especially going into another fight.”
“Would it be bad for you to get used to fighting without your web fluid?” He questioned back. “There are moments where you run out mid battle, mid swing, and I don’t believe I need to bring up how you felt after the alien parasite left you. ”
“....Good point.” The boy put his finger down. “Heck, I was getting my butt thrashed around by Gockmon because I didn’t have my spider-sense.”
“Right … do you think all animal villains share animal weaknesses?” April asked. “Like could we just stop Dogpound with some chocolate and bait Fishface with worms?”
“We were able to give DogPound nausea with his heightened senses, and I guess we could try to find a way to dry Xever out..” Peter thought it over. “But Rhino, Vulture, and doc ock don’t really fit that mold… though I don’t think we’ve ever seen ock underwater before.”
“Alright, I think we got it sorted out now.” Splinter looked to see his sons moving into sparing positions. Michelangelo was holding the katana, meant for a warrior with fine skill. Leonardo was holding the bo staff, meant for a mind focused on many things other than just the battle. Donatello was holding the sai, meant for a fighter who rushed into the heart of battle fearlessly. Rapheal held the nunchaku, meant for a ninja of great focus, flexibility, and a cool head in the heat of the moment.
“Then you may begin.” He stated. “Until you can claim to know these weapons as well as you know your own, you may not return to your original ones.”
“Pfft, piece of cake. If Mikey can use these, then I’ll master this before dinner.” Rapheal swung around the nunchucks…and hit himself on the head. “Ow!”
“Hah, rookie mistake!” Michelangelo laughed. “Not so easy to use, is it?”
Donatello quietly adjusted his position over and over, clearly unused to something so lightweight and single handed. “Like this … no … like this … no …”
“Okay, it’s just a stick, just… use it like a club… right?” Leonardo grabbed the bo staff as if he was wielding a single blade, leaving him vulnerable and open; likely being used to carrying two weapons into battle instead of one.
“Okay, I think I got this.” Michelangelo seemingly at glance looked like he was holding it alright… except it was upside down, and pointing right at Rapheal.
“Hey, watch where you’re pointing those-ow!” Rapheal hit himself in the head once more.
“... Well, looks like I’m gonna be the one pulling the weight tonight.” Peter muttered. “Unless they’re trained with basic hand to hand.”
“If I may make a small suggestion, it would benefit you if you had a weapon of your own to take into battle.” Splinter stated.
“Spider-Man bringing around blades when he already has enough muscle mass to bend steel, doesn’t really scream ‘friendly neighborhood’.” The boy airquoted.
“I’d seriously recommend getting one.” April told the boy as she pulled out her Tessenjustsu. “I probably would’ve saved myself a broken rib or two if I had something on hand.” It brought … mixed feelings giving her the weapon he planned to give Miwa.
“True …” Peter nodded. “What do you have in the ‘non lethal and small’ department? Maybe something that could leave the hands free for webs when needed?”
“Hm….. I believe these would be most effective for your means.” Splinter gave him the wooden Tonfas. “Small, unassuming, but quite effective if used correctly.
The boy gave the right one a once over, gripping the handle so the body was covering his arm. “Guard …” And spun it lightly around. “Attack … I can work with this.”
“I can see the headlines now.” April snickered. “‘Spider-man brutally beats criminal’s with police clubs! Giving NYPD a bad rep!’”
“Well I know Jameson would pay double for this.” The boy chuckled. “‘Anything to prove that the no good wall crawler is a menace to society’!” He twirled the tonfa around… and it slipped. “Oops.”
Whack
It hit Donnetello in the head, making him fall backward into unconsciousness. “Well that was expected.” Leo muttered, moving forward before tripping on the staff, falling to the ground.
“…You can’t say the tonfas aren’t an effective weapon.” April nodded.
“Oh goodie, now we have two nerds with easily breakable weapons, hooray.” Rapheal laughed.
“Tell me, how many bruises on your skull do you have trying to use the nunchucks in the last five minutes?” Peter countered as his ill-tempered son whacked himself in the face once more.
“When I get these things down, I’ll put double the bruises on you.”
Donatello groaned as he stood up, looking over his ringing T-Phone. “Oh great, Tim said ‘we’re going on another robbery’.”
“Hey, the kid does have his use.” Raphael grinned. “…Wait, why does he have your number?”
“Because I gave it to him in the very likely chance he’s going to do something stupid…like right now.”
“Alright people, it's go time. Everyone get ready to step on some Foot.” Michelangelo said in a dramatic voice.
“Hey, I’m still the leader!” Leonardo complained. “Alright….do that thing that Mikey said.”
“He may not have authority, but he has you down pat.” Peter quipped, grabbing the tonfa as he put on his mask, the turtles running out.
“... You think they’re gonna fail?” April asked.
“Undoubtedly so.” He nodded.
“And you let them going out because-“
“Failure is a greater teacher than even I could ever be.” Splinter answered. “And a healthy dose of humility doesn’t hurt either.”
“... Don’t think Peter needs to add too many more failures for humility on his list.” She muttered.
========================================================================
Leo stood on the rooftop, looking down. “Alright, Pulverizer said that the Foot are-” He tripped on the bo staff placed on his back, falling to the ground. “... The Foot are going to raid this place for mutagen.” He continued as if that didn’t happen.
“Still can’t believe we’re letting that moron do this.” Spider-man grumbled. “I should’ve webbed him over the police station. Maybe Gwen’s dad could scare him off the hero thing. That man can be intense.“
“Is her dad friends with you?” Mikey asked, dramatically swinging around the blades while accidentally cutting up the walls, or almost hitting Raph, who knocked his head. “Ow.”
“He’s the captain of the police, and one of two cops I know for sure that won’t shoot me on sight.” Peter explained. “I could get him to listen to a thing or two from Spidey, but I still can’t get him to open up an investigation into the Kraang or Foot.”
“They don’t believe in ninjas?” Donnie asked, his weapons on his belt, looking like they constantly poked him when he moved.
“No, they’ve just become desensitized to the idea of ninja’s in New York cause apparently there’s some pretty out there rumors in Hell’s Kitchen.” Peter sighed.
“We should really run by that place some time.” Leo muttered, looking down. “Guys, I see activity.”
“Then let's give these evildoers the only kind of cash they deserve, justice.” Mikey mocked him again. “Onwards my turtle titans!”
“I don’t sound like that!”
“No, you do.” Raph snickered. “He’s nailing your uncool dorky charm.”
“I am not uncool and dorky.” He growled.
“My advice, embrace the dork. Watch.” Spidey said, jumping down. “So Fishface and Dogpound, hope you didn’t moisturize and shampoo before you got here, it’d be a shame to ruffle up your ugly faces after you put so much time and effort into fixing them!” He shouted out, shooting some webs at the two mutants.
“Spider-man! Turtles!” Dogpound yelled as Spidey kicked the big mutt back.
“Yes yes, we have come at the sound of dorks doing crime.” He quipped, pulling out the tonfa and spinning them around. “And this time Spidey’s doing it ninja style-“ One flew from his hand and hit Mikey in the head.
“OW!”
“...Seriously?” Leo looked at him with a shaking head.
“Hey, I’m a newbie with weapons of any kind.” He used the other one in his left arm to block a bone arm from Dogpound. “You wanna get critical, get done here and do better.”
“Will do web head.” Raph ran forward, swinging his nunchaku forward as it was swung around wildly, hitting Raph’s own arm. “Ow! I would totally kill these things if they were alive!” And he got knocked into a trashcan by a random foot grunt…literally the first time that has ever happened to any of them.
Leo tried to hit one of the foot soldiers, clashing against their blades, only for it to cut clean through the stick. “Woops.”
“Not so easy to use a wooden stick all the time now, is it!?” Donnie said, trying to charge in with Raph’s sais, except he held them so close to himself that upon attempting a strike…he poked himself with it. “Ow! I think that cut through the skin!”
“That’s why I go in fist first-OW! Mikey!” He shouted to the turtle pointing a blade at him.
“My bad!” Mikey shouted, trying to spin around the blades, only to get kicked back.
“...Wow, I know you turtles are pathetic… but that’s just sad.” Fishface shook his head
“True.” Spidey said as he used his Tonfa to guard some blades, opening up room to let in some kicks he normally couldn’t get while dodging. “But not as sad as the man who can’t walk without his weapon.”
“Oh I have more than just kicks, bug!” Fishface tried to take a bite out of Spidey.
“Sorry, I didn’t bring any worms for you to munch on. You’d think that would be a given seeing that I’m a spider. I’m such a terrible host.” He ducked under the bite and used his tonfa to up-chuck Fishface right in the jaw, knocking him into the streets. “Then again, your glass jaw isn’t going to be that useful for the next week or so.”
“Do you ever run out of things to spout out!” Dogpound tried to throw a punch, only for Spidey to avoid it and wack them on the head.
“Of course not, the audience expects a certain amount of jokes every time I show up. Bad doggie thinking otherwise.” He said, leaping over them and waking Bradford in the back of the head. “Gotta say, I can get used to this. Reinforce it to my strength level and I won’t have to feel punching people. Really keeps my delicate spidey hands nice and tidy.”
“Okay, forget what Splinter said, I’m not going to be more useless than Spidey with toy sticks and fish breath!” Raph shouted. “We need to switch back!”
“Hey, I have the swords, I make the calls!” Mikey shouted.
“MIKEY!”
“And I say we need to switch back!” In a single instant, the turtles threw their weapons up in the air and grabbed their respective ones. “Oh yeah, now we’re talking! BOOYAAKASHAA!” Mikely leapt forwards and knocked two foot into a wall.
Leo ran forward, clashing against Dogpound’s claws and pushing him back. “Get ready for some real turtle power!” He shouted, leaping over an attack and landing a blow on the guy’s chest.
Donnie knocked out three foot soldiers. “And I did that with a broken staff, ha!”
“Yeah yeah, real proud of you.” Raph said sarcastically as he helped Spidey clash against Fishface, landing a blow under his jaw. “Maybe now you won’t keep complaining about fighting with a giant stick anymore.”
“By the way, are you seriously trying to make more mutants?” Peter asked as he spun some webs at Dogpound’s feet, giving Leo an opening to strike. “You know that thing doesn’t just mess with your body right? Most people go loco in the head when their DNA is scrambled. I mean, just look at you Bradford. You used to be such a famous has-been action movie star, and now you’re chasing your own tail as a pastime? Do you really want more people to suffer your hilarious fate?”
“If it gives us a better chance at squashing you, yes!” He roared out. “Retreat!” With a shout, they all began running away, leaving the turtles and Spidey alone in the alley, grinning as they watched them flee.
“Man, I don’t know what Splinter was on about. We’re awesome with our weapons.” Mikey gasped. “Unless that was the lesson. That we’re only awesome with our weapons.”
“Meh, I’m weirdly okay with that.” Donnie nodded.
“You’ve done well, turtles.” They heard a clearly masked voice say from the shadows. “I’m glad you responded to my vital message.”
“...Pulveriser, we know it’s you.” Mikey said with a very unimpressed expression, and for someone that was easily impressed like him, that was saying a lot.
“No, you cannot use my real name, or others will find out my secret identity…”
“Your real name is Timothy.” Donnie said bluntly.
“....Yeah, but Pulverizer is still cooler.”
“Also you’re wearing the Pulverizer costume under the Foot Clan mask.” Peter added. “That’s just terrible identity keeping right there.”
“And this is coming from a guy who needed a mind reader to finally show us the ugly face under his mask.” Raph added insult to injury, making Peter hit him in the shoulder. “What was that for!?”
“Too soon, jerk.” He was still on edge over Rat King it seemed. “Now Pulverizer, you did your part, it’s time to head home and stop this.”
“No way, I’m helping you guys take down the Foot, like a hero-!”
“No, no, no, no!” Spidey waved his hands. “You’re WAY in too deep with this, Tim! Bad enough you’re literal cannon fodder, but if you’re caught helping us, who knows what they’ll do to you!?”
“Then I’ll kick my way out with the sweet ninja skills they’re teaching me.”
“You don’t know any ninja skills!” Donnie screamed. “You barely know any real skills!! Period!”
“Come on, just because I’m not a ninja or have powers doesn’t mean I’m useless!”
“No, the fact that you’re a bumbling clown that can’t fight makes you useless.” Raphael pointed out. “Telling us about the robbery is literally the FIRST useful thing you’ve done, nothing else.”
“Exactly! And you guys need someone to tell you when they’re going to test mutagen!” Tim shouted.
“We can do that ourselves, that’s why we have patrols.” Spidey said. “Now go walk home. And if you try to insinuate that this is some sort of hidden message, I am going to web you to a police station. Do I make myself clear?”
“....Fine.” The guy grumbled, slowly walking away.
“...Do you really believe that’s going to be enough to stop him?” Leo asked.
“Nope.” He answered bluntly. “That’s why I’m going to be tailing him for the rest of the night.” The vigilante said, jumping into the air, starting to swing… only to come crashing down. “...When I restock my webfluid supply.”
“You’d think your spider sense would go off with how hazardous running out of webs would get.” Donnie noted.
“If it was that simple I’d never have a complaint about my powers again.”
========================================================================
Raph flopped down on the couch. “We have skill, power, cool gear, and a mole.” It really was the best life. All he needed was a camera to photograph Peter’s most embarrassing moments, and everything would be perfect.
“Don’t be too comfy there, we ARE getting him out!” Peter shouted as he walked into the lab. “As in, getting him out BEFORE he does something stupid like falling down on a ninja sword or walking up to the Shredder and asking for his next evil plan.”
“If he does, then we’ll just rescue him without sweet ninja moves.” Mikey grinned, swinging around his chucks … with Splinter standing directly behind him. “Uh, hey Splinter, I was just… saying goodbye to my original weapons, you know, since we switched them so suddenly…”
“And that’s why you and the rest of your brothers have your original weapons in your possession?” Splinter asked skeptically.
… Maybe they should have swapped back before walking back in here. “Sensei, I know it looks bad, but we were seriously getting our butts kicked before we swapped..” Leo tried to excuse.
“That was the point. If you rely solely on what you know, you’ll never be prepared for the unknown.” Splinter said sternly. “In the hands of a ninja, anything can be a weapon, they are capable of turning the tide of the battle using their surroundings. Until you learn this lesson, you are to fight… without weapons at all.”
“But without weapons, we’ll definitely die!”
“If you are nothing without your weapons, then you are nothing with them either.” They spoke. “Hand them over, now.” Splinter stated sternly, holding out his hands.
“...Do what he says.” Leo sighed, handing over his swords as the rest of them followed.
Splinter put away the weapons in his robe, before going back to holding out his hands. “All of your weapons.”
The turtles looked at each other, before handing over some shuriken. Master continued to look at Raph, before he groaned and pulled out fifteen kunai and twenty more stars. “Okay, I get the belts, but how are you able to hold in so many pointy things and smokebombs AND your main weapons?” Spidey questioned as he walked back in.
“Ninja secret.” Mikey smirked as he handed them over. “It’ll be alright, right? It’s not like we’ve never fought hand to hand before.”
“No, but that’s usually fallout options.” Their fearless leader groaned.
“Well you guys start improving that.” Spidey said. “I’m gonna go grab Tim now.”
“I don’t think it’ll be too bad.” Leo said. “Tim’s a soldier, not a higher up. As long as he can fake enough injuries with everyone out, there’s too many people to directly punish.”
“His role is LITERALLY cannon fodder.” Donnie argued back.
“And as cannon fodder, he’s useful. He hasn’t been fired yet, or worse.”
“He’s kind of got a point there.” Raph nodded. “Idiot’s too stupid to stay down.”
“Which is why I think having a cop scare him straight is for the best, before he does something that can’t be taken back.” Peter said. “He’s in danger, that makes whatever happens to him our responsibility.”
“You know, everytime you say that word, I hate it more and more.” Raph grumbled.
“How do you think I feel?” Peter questioned. “It’s LITERALLY my family motto.”
A ringing came from Donnie’s phone. “Speak of the devil..” He clicked on the answer button. “Tim, you better be back home right now or I swear..”
“Of course not, why would I ever stop being the hero?” They said, not even picking up the slightest threat. “In fact, I’m getting a promotion, so more information for you guys.”
“Tim, this is the exact OPPOSITE of what we wanted!” Spidey shouted, punching a hole in a nearby wall. “....Just tell us where you are before you get hurt.”
“Sorry, can’t right now, turns out they're going to test the mutagen tonight before stealing any more, and they’re going to test it on me!”
“You see, NOW it’s bad.” Leo nodded. “We have escalated from a four to a nine.”
“Oh no, it’s not a bad thing, I volunteered!”
“... WHY!?” Donnie screamed.
“Spidey said I shouldn’t be doing this cause I don’t have the skills or powers. If I get mutated, I get powers!”
“YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THAT STUFF’S GOING TO DO TO YOU!” Peter screamed.
“Course I do. You guys got turned into super turtles, Spider-Man is a super spider, so I’m going to turn into a superhuman! That’s just science dude.”
“Tell us where you are, right now!” Donnie shouted.
“Oh they’re coming back, gotta go, bye.” They hung up.
“Great.” Peter grumbled. “Now I have to check an entire city, fight off Dogpound and Fishface alone since you guys don’t have weapons, and save someone who doesn’t want to be saved all within a short time limit.”
“Don’t worry, I can track his phone in three two one…” Donnie clicked on his t-phone. “There. He’s fifteen miles out, which is five minutes by shellraiser.”
“Great, I’ll take the Spider-Cycle.” Peter ran forward.
“Dude, last time you rode, it was when you had the black suit. Do you even know how to drive it?” Mikey asked.
“I may not have a learners permit, but I can still navigate a web slinging machine with some minor video game knowledge.” They watched him drive off … then spin off course.
CRASH
The turtles watched as a flaming wheel rolled over to them, along with a singed Spider-Man. “... So … I may have been driving because of an alien monster last time … and may not actually know how to drive.”
“Hold that pose.” Raph took out his t-phone and snapped his pic. “There, now I have something to laugh at when I’m feeling blue.”
“Hah ha, very funny, why don’t you laugh while we stand around here like morons while Tim is mutated into another freak of the week we have to put away?” Spidey sarcastically growled.
“Come on, we can take the Shellraiser.” Leo said.
========================================================================
Tim grinned as he was taken into the warehouse. “Ooooh, this is gonna be so rad.” He was gonna be a butt kicking mutant! Best, day, ever! Finally, he’ll have the power to be a hero! “What was it like when you became super strong and big?” He asked the best ninja sensei ever (even if they were evil), Chris Bradford!
“....Like a day at the beach.” Braford growled in a low voice.
“Right, so when I become a mutant, am I going to grow robotic limbs too, or is that something you added afterwards..” He turned to the meaner but still pretty cool fish guy.
“Only one way to find out.” The man spoke. “Not like we got to choose what kind of animals we became … although I did touch tuna … and Bradford was petting a corgi …”
“Gotcha, so I’m gonna be a super buff and strong human, since I’ve only touched humans, man that’s so cool.” Though if it had something to do with touching animals, maybe he should’ve brought a shark tooth, or alligator skin, or maybe snake venom, yeah, that would’ve been awesome!
They went into the center of the room, where a large canister of the green glowing goop was displayed, along with a really cool cord over his head. “Stand under there.” Bradford pointed to the red x.
Tim grinned as he stood under, looking up. This was it, his moment for powers, to be a famous and well beloved hero that punched all the bad guys. He saw the top open …
Thwip
“Hey now, just because you found a new form of playdo does not mean you get to play with it.” Spider-Man said, pulling them away. “Then again the people that made this stuff weren’t smart enough to put warning labels, so your idiocy is understandable.”
“Spider-man!” The fish guy yelled. “Don’t you have anything else to do aside from get in the way!?”
“Sorry, fraid not. It’s in my spidery nature to be a pest to any and all criminals everywhere.” They slung the Pulverizer to a wall, sticking him there. “Now stay there and be a good masked boy.”
“Oh come on, I was just about to get powers!” Why was Spider-man being such a jerk?!
“Tim, that stuff is dangerous! If you get hit with it, then there’s no telling what will happen!” Donnie crashed in along with everyone else…who for some reason didn’t have their weapons.
“Get them!” Bradford rushed at the turtles, tossing them around as Xever started going toe to toe with Spidey.
“I see you’re the only one equipped for tonight.” The fish man said as Spidey whacked him back with cool spinning arm things.
“What can I say, a Boy Scout packs well for every occasion-“ The weapon spun out of his hand, into Raph’s head.
“Seriously, the second I get my sai’s back, I’m going to stab you full of holes!” He shouted, before he was punched away by Bradford. “You too, you furry mut!”
Pulverizer struggled against the webbing. He could help, if he could just get a dose of that super power goop. “Come on, we’re ninja’s! We can turn anything into a weapon!” Leo shouted, looking around, and spotting a long lead pipe on the ground. “Oh I hope I don’t regret this!” He grabbed the object, and swung it at the dog man like it was a sword … actually forcing the arm to move. “I don’t regret it at all! Anything is a weapon, even objects lying around!”
Donnie went for a broom, grabbing and spinning it around as he wacked it into some foot soldiers. “Huh, Karate Kid was accurate after all.”.
“Ooooh, the lesson wasn’t learning a new weapon, it was just finding random junk you can use like it’s your weapon!” Mikey shouted, grabbing a chain from a box, unlatching it as he rose into the air. “Booyakasha!”
“Oh really?” Raph grabbed a nearby crate and smashed it over a foot’s head. “Sweet! This lesson ain’t half bad after all.”
And he could join the but kicking to, if he just … on, ninja star from the foot broke the webs, neat. “Don’t worry guys, I’m gonna help!” He ran to the mutagen.
“Sorry Pulverizer, that’s a big no on our ends!” Spidey shouted, aiming a hand, which was kicked away by the fish guy’s metal legs. “I don’t have time to dance with you Xever!” He grabbed the leg and threw him into the ceiling.
“Once I get my powers, you wont have to watch my back!” He made it to the platform. At last! He was going to be a super hero! “Mutant Timothy, here I come!”
“TIMOTHY NO!” Donnie shouted, before he got blocked by Bradford. “Move you giant mut!”
He pulled the cord, watching as the mutant goo began falling down. “NO!” They all shouted. They probably just wanted to be the only heroes. Well he’d show them!
Splash
“Powers … come on …” No super blasts yet … just a … heat. An uncomfortable heat. “It’s hot …” He rubbed his face. “Really hot …” So hot, burning, scortching. “HOT! SO HOT!” Every cell was on fire. “You never told me it was going to be painful!”
“We told you to not use it, period!” Spider-Man shouted out.
“Aaaagggg!” It felt like his skin was melting! “Help me get it off!” He tried to reach out for some Foot pals, only for them to walk away. “HELP ME!”
“Is it just me, or is he getting more…transparent?” Leo said said.
“Like some sort of jellyfish freak?” Raph asked, almost sounding like he was making a joke about the pain!
“Heeeeelpppp Meeeee!” He shot out his arms…his gooey…green…skinless…boneless arms as the ground began to sizzle.
“What’s wrong with him!? Why’s he getting all goopy!?” Mikey shouted in panic!
“I … there’s no DNA for the mutagen to bond with.” Donnie’s voice said. “The mutagen doesn’t have a template… so it’s melting his body apart for samples.”
Melting apart … was he going to die!? “Hellllp …. Meeee …” Timmy screamed. “Helllp meeeeee …” Every word hurt to speak, his voice dying out.
“Have fun dealing with the freakshow here!” Bradford shouted, closing the doors.
“Huuuurtt ….. Gaaahhh …” He tried flailing around, trying to get the burning sensation away.
“Timmothy, we can get you out, but you have to listen.” Donnie spoke …
“Donnie … Donnie … cause this ….” He was the smart one, he should’ve known this would’ve happened! “Spidey…caused this.” He was supposed to be the hero, yet he was mean to him, and he didn’t save him! What kind of hero didn’t save people in danger!?” “Timmothy … good guy … you all ….. VILLAINS!!”
“Already knew that, thanks for making it clear to my conscience!” Spider-Man made fun of him as they moved around.
“Burn….BURN!” He stretched his arms out, melting nearby boxes trying to strike at the bad guys.
“Ahh, he’s turned into some kind of acid Mutagen man!” Mikey shrieked as he climbed up the walls.
“I’m too terrified beyond belief to even point out your hypocrisy!” That webbed headed menace quipped.
“Guys, there’s bombs everywhere!” Leo shouted. “They rigged the place to blow!”
The Foot AND the Turtles, they were all evil, all jerks! “Buuurrrnnn!” If Timothy was going to die in pain, they would all do the same!
“Tim, calm down! We won’t be able to help you if we can’t get out of here!” Donnie shouted, trying to trick him into letting them live.
“He didn’t want our help before, and now he’s trying to kill us, and you still wanna help this creep!?” Raph shouted, as if he was somehow in the right!
“We’re heroes! We don’t choose who we want to save, we just save!” Spidey shouted, trying to web him up, only for the white silk to melt.
“No…heroes! Only…menace!” That Jameson guy was right! People in masks were evil! “You didn’t….SAVE ME!”
“Hey Mutagen Man!” They turned to see Mikey, taunting him over by the goo container. “Bet you can’t touch me!” They roared, moving forward, intending to melt the jerk … only for a slicing sound to be heard above him.
Clunk
And forced them inside of the container. They tried to get out, scream, but nothing got out, even sound. “If it was able to hold mutagen, it should be able to hold someone made out of it.” Leo huffed. “We got him in, lets move!”
“Alright guys, stand back.” Spidey picked him up. “Sorry about this time.” Don’t say sorry if you don’t mean it! “Aaaaaagggh!” They charged forward, breaking through the metal door of the warehouse.
BOOM
The building exploded, mutagen went flying … and they were stuck, like this, in a jar. Their screams couldn’t be heard. “We lived!” Mikey shouted with glee, glee that overlooked their problem!
“And Shredder won’t be getting an army of mutants anytime soon.” Leo nodded. “…So what are we going to do with him? He’s not really a bad guy.”
“We’ll bring him into the lab for now.” The web head was trapping him!? “Listen.” The menace leaned in close. “I’m not gonna rest until we cure you, I promise.”
“Same.” That idiot Donnie nodded. “We’ll get your life back.”
“..To be fair, he didn’t have much of one..” The heartless jerk Raph mocked him.
“Except a mother who’s probably worried sick about her son.” Spider-Man said a truth for once. His mom would be worried. “And we can’t exactly say ‘sorry mam, Tim became a rampaging mutant trying to kill us all’ to her face.” The villain groaned. “What have we done?”
“Look, I know it’s your thing to feel guilty, but the fact of the matter is that idiot was given more chances than he deserved.” Raph continued. “That special brand of bad luck doesn’t always come from you.”
“Doesn’t matter if it does or doesn’t. What matters is that you help people who need it.” Stop painting yourself like the hero, you’re the villain, Mutagen Man was hero!
========================================================================
The Shredder listened as Braford gave his report. “Unfortunately, the Pulverizer turned into an unstable monster barely capable of coherent sentences. We had to blow the place up, and the scouts said that no bodies were found in the wreckage.”
“We might have been able to tame and manipulate him into joining our more ‘lethal’ endeavors … but that’s both effort and time better spent elsewhere.” Xever added in. “They didn’t seem competent enough to use their abilities even if trained.”
“Frustrating, but not unexpected.” The Shredder groaned. This was outside of their usual means of battle. The chance that he would’ve instantly had a mutant army to counter Hamato Yoshi’s disciples was slim. Much as he loathed the man, Stockman’s input would’ve been useful. “We’ll try again at a later date. Focus on building our forces up in the meantime.” He said, looking at the shivering soldiers. “I have seen nothing but disappointment in the lower ranks as of late … and even the upper ranks on occasion.” Saki threatened.
“Yes Master.” Bradford spoke, bowing down.
The door opened, as one of the Kraang machines walked into the room alongside Karai, pausing as it reached Bradford and Xever’s position. It did not bow, merely looking up. “Kraang has been informed of that which is known as the vendetta of the Foot Clan against that which is known as the Turtles.”
“And your response?” He narrowed his eyes.
“Bring the one who is known as April O’Neil to Kraang, and the one known as Shredder shall have anything the one known as Shredder desires.” The machine responded.
“Very well. We will discuss a plan of acquiring her tomorrow.” A plan that hopefully didn’t get interfered with by that wall crawling nuisance that nearly took his daughter away.
With a nod, the alien walked away, leaving the room in silence for a moment, before Xever spoke. “Lord Shredder, not to cast doubt on your judgment, but you do realize these…creatures… their alliance is strained at best.”
“I don’t care what the Kraang want in the end…. Just so long as it provides me with what I desire.” The world could burn and the sky could light on fire, he didn’t care about anything but his revenge in the end.
